i just google imaged poop.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
