i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
