After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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