There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Panties = found
Randomize
