Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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