Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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