Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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