ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize