ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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