literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
