Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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