This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
