what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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