she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
