Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
