Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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