Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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