this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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