they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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