i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
