can we get nightvision for the apartment?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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