Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
