she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
