You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize