Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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