I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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