why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he had hair everywhere except his balls
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
