the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
