so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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