Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
