And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we're so committed to being not committed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
