So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
