So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
