we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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