The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
