This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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