Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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