I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
