Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
