So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
