He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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