Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
