Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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