i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
