I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
