Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
