My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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