That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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