It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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