Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize