I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
