Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
