Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
