Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
