so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
