I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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