Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's the barista slut.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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