You made me cry and you don't even care
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
