Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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