I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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