Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize