I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize