Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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